A Ministry Milestone?

The following story is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

I had a ministry first tonight while volunteering with the junior high at SLCC. It was an interaction with a student that took a predictable twist, yet at the same time I've never had it happen before. It has made me grin, stop, and ponder it, and I can only attribute this pondering to the fact that it hasn't happened before. Let's tell the story to set the context.

I certainly don't think myself too friendly, but I love how so many people are comfortable talking to me. Such was the case as I was talking with one of the students I work with about their day at school and their current drama situation.

Without going into too much detail let's just summarize it by saying the student wants to date a boy, but dating the boy would add a lot of tension to her friendship with both of her best friends, one of whom used to date the boy.

Listening to her reasoning for both sides of it, I thought I had a great thought and relayed it to her. "Well you know, you don't "have" to date this guy, you can just be friends right?"

Her reply was the incident that is the focus of this blog: "James, you're too old to understand!" She then began to explain more of the situation, but at the same time the comment stuck with me. A student finally played that card on me. A true lifetime first.

Now don't get me wrong, I partially agree with her. You can never fully understand any situation that you are not directly a part of. However, 10 years from now I guarantee if she looks back and by chance remembers this conversation, she'll agree with what I said 100%. I wasn't wrong, but it's part of the journey of life and even when things seem important in the moment, often in hindsight we can accept that most things in our life may not be as important as we thought they were at the time.

People live hard lives, and middle-school is where you start to think that no one understands you. I think you could make the argument that this realization is one that sticks with you the rest of your life. I would even guess in marriage there are times in a couple's life that they feel their spouse doesn't fully understand them.

Do you work tirelessly to make yourself understood? Do you "re-invent" yourself to be understood a certain way? Do you really want to be understood, or just accepted?

I mean that's what it really comes down to. Understood or not, we all want to be accepted for who we are. Figuring that out takes time; many people are still doing it. I would make the case that figuring out who we are in Christ (for example) is an endeavor that takes no less than our entire life.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, nor do I think I need to go somewhere. Like I said, it was a ministry first that got me thinking.

We have a desire to be understood and accepted. Inherit in that is a desire to be loved. God has imprinted that in us because we are not meant to go through life alone. At the same time, the only chance we have to experience this desire fulfilled is in God, in life as part of His people.

What's hard for me is I work at a job where I see tons of people. I have no idea if they know this or not. I see them choosing not to find out. I see people in my life who have known this truth, yet still choose to wander away from it. Why? I've known nothing else my entire life, and I've learned enough to know there is nothing better out there. I come from two very stubborn families so I know I'll never venture out enough to try a life away from God, because again I know it to be the best life there is.

How do I help others see this for themselves? What can I do to make that impact, to make that need apparent? The saying goes you can lead a horse to the water but you can't make him drink. I only worry that the constant sight of thirsty horses hasn't made me forget to lower my head and drink what I know is good. (Wow, I've just discovered I really don't like extending sayings too much.)

So what do we do? That is the question that is the daily struggle, the daily commitment, the daily sacrifice. We do the best we can, and God works through the rest.

And that's where I stop tonight.